Thursday, February 02, 2006

On Internet- In A Season of Love

People would not believe how much he had changed in the last few months. The total book worm bugger who used to spend most of his time reading either textbooks or his novels in his dingy little hostel room suddenly started to take a shower in the evening, put a heavy layer of talcum powder on him, look at himself in the mirror and, go out.

This evening excursion was to cyber café a kilometer away from the college hostel. He liked to walk all the way just feeling the breeze rush up against his face. For a introvert like him internet was a heaven. There was nothing to fear of. You didnt fear that you may not be able to utter a word if a girl looks at you in the eye. Or the big fat guy will beat you up if you abuse him.

This evening felt all the more better. He was again going to chat to Shirley. His love, finally he too could say he has a girl friend. Nowadays that has become a must have. You are not man enough if you don’t have a girl friend or they may even call you gay

Now girls in the real world were the most irrational people around. He often wondered how girls could fall in love with lousy idiots who drank smoke and spoke about their girls assets to other guys in the hostel. Maybe they too were not interested in love. It was all in the name of fun.

But his Shirley was different. She was all he wanted his girl to be. She was god fearing, beautiful (that’s what she said) and at five seven with 34 26 36 figure and long jet-black hair by descriptions could not be ugly. She was intelligent too. She could talk about American army in Iraq with the same ease she would talk about her lipstick and her roommate. And above all she loved him. The Iraq thing was surprising to him. But he forced himself to believe that god had hidden a jewel for him.

He had met her online a week after his only friend in college introduced him to chatting. He was in the Kerala room and just watching as the conversation scrolled by. When suddenly a personal chat window popped up with a HI!!! After the initial asl and other formalities she just raced into his heart.

It was just around 5 30 when he reached the café. There was a vacant seat and nowadays wit more computers with connectivity at hostel the cyber café was not full except for the rush hour. He sat at this favorite corner seat. No one preferred to sit there because it was all cramped up. But it served his purpose. This was he could be away from public eye.

Shirley was online. A smile came to his face. He pulled up the keyboard and said a Hi. After that awesome Hi on the first day it was always him who said the first Hi. He loved doing it. It made him feel in control

She send a smiley and said hi. She said she wanted to say something important to him. He tensed up. She said her parents had fixed a marriage for her. They guy was from the UK working for some multinational. He had lot of money and his parents were also keen.

He wanted to say “lets run away and get married” but suddenly his hands would not work they were cold and would not move. He pulled his right hand onto the keyboard with his left and managed an “and”.

She said, “I know it would hurt you, but lets be practical. It would take a lot of time for you to get settled in life. Another two years of your course and then god knows if you can manage a job. I cannot wait that long. I am sure you will find a much better girl than me. Infact I fell I don’t deserve you da.”

He could see his dreams shatter in front of his own eyes. He had even decided on the name of the kids they would have. And here she goes of so abruptly. He felts sick. He could not breathe. He just got up slowly locked the comp and walked outside. He took a long breath of fresh air. The sickness vanished but he still felt bad. He went in.

He typed, “ I want you to be happy. If this makes you happy then you should go ahead. The best part of love is letting go of the other and let them be happy” the words he read in one his favorite forwards. “ I would like to have a picture of yours. A memoir of your”

She said “Hey hey no pictures. Why you want to complicate things. You said you are not in love with my body. So why would you need my picture for remembering me?”

He said “okie”

She said “ Look I need to go now. I may not log into this id again. It was nice knowing you. You take care.” And she logged out

He got out wrote the timing in the register paid the man at the counter and slowly walked out of the café. A head popped out of the cabin near the door and winked at the administrator. It was his best friend who introduced him to chatting> he told “ And so dies Shirley” and both burst out laughing

He walked back towards the hostel. Tears rolled up in his eyes. He wondered, “How could she!!!” and he could feel his inner voice break in angst. He stomped his foot on the road.


He spat out. The strong wind carried it back onto his own shirt


Rajesh Warrier said...

Coincidence? Dejavu >> my url refers the same.

Ektz said...

:) nice story!

umm. i belive its a story, right?

or otherwise?

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

Hmmmmmm ....

why am i not surprised ?????

didnt understand ur comment on my blog

~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

hmmm ... read the previous posts too

moontalk said...

hmmm...some details came close to what happened to this guy i kw...guess it happens to a lot of ppl in real life too
wonder if this whole story did actually come out of ur imagination...

Jim said...

I actually helped someone do this once. Felt bad about it later, but it was actually kinda fun while it lasted. I was the "real world liason".

Anonymous said...

by Matthew Rohrer

I believe there is something else

entirely going on but no single
person can ever know it,
so we fall in love.

It could also be true that what we use
everyday to open cans was something
much nobler, that we'll never recognize.

I believe the woman sleeping beside me
doesn't care about what's going on
outside, and her body is warm
with trust
which is a great beginning.

Maya Cassis said...

nice narration.kept me glued.
love is like that.

Regi said...

It is an interesting writing and able to hold curious eyes. Regarding its content, to me, it seems more real than virtual nowadays. It became an "easy" way to get friends and mates. Although if it wasn't online, we weren't have got a hold of each othe for example, in same ways, I think that it may be a shoot in the foot. People get used to show what they want to be, instead of what they really are. Behind computers is easier to be strong and smart and courageous.