Thursday, December 15, 2005

My First Winter

This is my first winter and I don’t know if you can call it a real winter at all. There is no snow. So the purist may not agree. But then I am from a typical coastal city situated closer to the equator. The lowest temperature I must have seen must be some 18 deg C. Now the temperatures here are like 5 deg Celsius at night. I am wearing sweater at noon.

The hardest part is riding back to quarters. The company accommodation is almost 14 Km away from office and I don’t get to go back till 8 at night. I wear a sweater a jacket and a monkey cap beneath my helmet. Even then the cold wind blowing against you is killing. By time I reach quarter I am shivering and palms are ice cold.

But winter is fun. The time u sink beneath the cozy blanket is one of the most amazing feelings one can get. I just hope I had someone with me whom I could snuggle up to beneath the blanket ;)

Monday, October 31, 2005


For pain I would pay
Let the illusions play
They teach its bad
Feeling pain or be sad
Its blasphemy I knew
As I thought and I grew

In the cave of my truth
Soul – unholy and uncouth
Lost in mayhem and insanity
I am searching for sanctity
Where thought is a jungle
Truth and deceit entangle

The mind is so morose
Feel the tentacle close
Conflicts of thought
Venom with it bought
As pain covers the body
Soul erupts in rhapsody

Friday, October 28, 2005

Crayons of earth

Crayons of earth
Draw the pictures
Every penny worth
No frames or fixtures

Shades of grey
Or of shadow play
Waiting for prey
Out in earthen clay

Pictures are hazy
Intoxication mild
Mind goes crazy
Imagination wild

Endless stream
And the blinding fog
Piercing scream
The juvenile rogue

Night is too cold
The burning hearth
Flames Dance bold
And the crayons of earth

Monday, October 24, 2005


I failed to realize where I was. All I could feel was pain all over my body. There was so much weight over me. I couldn’t open my eyes.

I was doing some experiments in my underground lab. Something with the explosives. Something went wrong. BOOM. I felt a force throwing me off my feet. Now wake up

I still don’t know where I am

Sunday, October 23, 2005


When days turn boring and existence turns to frustration it finally time to realize that you are living. Even I don’t fully understand that statement I just made. But I guess it really seems interesting because I am feeling a lot frustrated the last few days. It seems as if life has come to a lull when nothing much is happening on any front.
What do I do to wake up so that I have something moving? I am naturally lazy means the inertia is rather high. I have been seriously thinking about trekking. But is it worth it to risk my life in naxal infested hills and forests. I have long been fascinated by naxalism, but what difference does that make. For them I would be one of that class that has to be annihilated.
Roses on My Table
There are four roses on my table vase
Not real ones
Two are red one is rose
And one a color I don’t know
Maybe its orange
They are lifeless
But even real roses are lifeless
If thy are cut of from the plant
It doesn’t look good
But its still there on my table
I payed for it
Why do I have it here
I don’t know
But it is still here

Friday, October 21, 2005


I was perturbed when my friend send this to me with a title "Frustration of Teachers". Maybe it reminded me of my own school days when i was told to fall in line when ever i dared to be different in my literary endevours.

I believe this kid deserves applause for the way he has written. Forget the grammar forget the construction. Just look at the raw creativity and orginality. The topic is simple there is the common approach of writing something quite ordinary about flowers, rainbows, nature, vehicles, people and what not. But that would be description.

The incoherence between the pargraphs that this kid has written is what makes it interesting for me. You may agree or disagree but i would argue that this kid got a raw deal.

One of my friends tell me this mail maybe a hoax. Maybe. But it gave me a chance to speak about something I wanted to tell for a long time

It has been my experience that teachers in the Indian educational system has an uncanny ability to snuff out creativity. In our quest to be conformist and be right all the time we are losing the essence of diversity

Monday, August 15, 2005

Why We Need Cynics

Right through out our academics and professional life we have been told about the need of positive thinking. Gurus after gurus have harped about the power of positive thinking. At the height of this frenzy one would often think that a cynic is a total misfit in today’s competitive environment. Is it so?

Cynicism is defined literally an attitude of scornful or jaded negativity, especially a general distrust of the integrity or professed motives of others. Thus cynics are unable to believe what other profess to them and are supposed crippled by their inability to think positive. Thus in a modern and knowledge oriented society cynics might be regarded as those who stand in the way of progress.

Social thought process is the way the society thinks. I would like to draw a parallel between the brain and the society. As the brain is made up of numerous neurons the interaction of which gives rise to thought process, the society is made up of humans who interactions decide how the society would think. Thus what the society thinks about any subject is moderated by the extremists in the society. Now that would be something difficult to comprehend. We have traditionally seen moderates and extremists as two different orientations towards a common subject. But the truth is that there has to be two extreme opinions, a dichotomy. Let us take the example of cloning. There are people who support it saying that it is the next step in scientific advancement and other extreme that claim that it is an act against nature and thus should be stopped. In the tussle that arises between these opinions a middle path emerges which are the moderates that support regulated research in the field of cloning.

It has also been established that humans are diverse. Even though they are all physiologically same the mental makeup is different. Thus we have behavioral scientists advocating teamwork and diversity. In this sense cynics are necessary in any team to be the devils advocate. When a team moves forward with a key decision it is necessary for someone within to sound warning bells and inform team members about the possible pitfalls in the decisions.

Thus for me cynicism is mental makeup that makes you think about how thinks can go wrong. There is no need to scorn at cynicism because it is essential in deciding how the society thinks.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Piriyum Neram

This is a song written for my farewell at engineering college in 2002

priyum neram, pokum neram
innenullil etho vishadham
nirayunenullil, sukhamulla novin
ormakal maatram

ini onnu cheran oru kochu moham
piriyathirikkan atmavin daaham
chirkarnna mohavum atma dahavum
enmanssil maaatram
thaliraarnna shikhriyil virinju nilkkum
oru kusumam pole

iniennu kaanum niramulla swapnam
iniyennu kelkkum, snehathin geetham
niramaarnna swapnavum sneha geethavum
ormakalil maatram
kuliraarnna pulariyil kozhinju veezhum
pani neerpoo pole

Download this song here

And the River Flows on

The river flows on and on
Not knowing what it claimed
Unlike the bubbles that had blown
The dreams - they still lay chained

But it rained on the cold night
Never a drop fell from the sky
But for the tears we could not fight
Keep the dreams, they never die

Muttering something never clear
Ripples formed and ripples died
Flushed along the raging river
But never could move the dreams chained

For now the rain had ceased
The sky is dark and the hearts heavy
From above three stars smiled and said
Keep the dreams they never had died


It seemed as if it was the longest walk in my life. I am not saying that long walks are not common in my life. I have walked for days together. I never knew when I would be able to rest. In fact we never rested in that sense. Why is the sky so dark today? There is just one star and only the small crescent of a dull moon. It reflects the state of the world we are living in. I knew the sharpness of the stones increasing beneath my feet. It should be nearer now. I don't remember how long I had spent in this jungle. Incidentally the stones didn't pain me. Maybe it was because of habit or may be my body and mind has lost its ability to feel pain at all.

It was dark. All I could see was the thick blackness around me. I never waited for the stars to guide me. I just took the lead cutting through the darkness. We had dreams but we knew fully well that we may not remain to see what we foresee but then we fought for what be believed. A world where there is no difference between the haves and "have not"s.

There in the distance I could see the dim light coming from a hut. Oh! this is the place. My legs gained pace as I neared my destination. This was to be my hideout for the coming few days. I coughed three times and entered the hut. There he was sitting in a corner with his eyes closed and hands working fast. He didn't pay any attention to me. I knew he was expecting me. I dint expect a warmer welcome than this, I could feel the comradeship in the air and that was enough for me. He may also have felt the same way.

These were some Mao scriptures lying on the mat at one corner of the room. I put my dirty cloth bag on the small chair and sat down on the mat. I went through the leaves of truth. I never needed to read them. I knew it all by now. It was in my blood. My eyes shifted to Prakash. He was still working. How creative was he. Though he was making bombs for destruction they were so shapely and well formed. Those were the artist’s hands at work. , the hand of the one who knows only how to create. His eyes were still half closed. He must have been sitting here the whole of evening. There were more than thirty fully done country bombs lying on the floor.

I thought of getting some sleep. I must have walked over twenty five kilometers hiding away from all eyes. I took the lesser known jungle paths. I met no one except for an odd tribal on the way. Life has been like these for the past few months, ever since Thirapuzha station blast. I was wanted long back. But now the police were all the more flared up by that episode. Not that I cared about them catching me. But I had to be out of here to get more people understand the realities of the world and to take up the fight for the legitimate cause.
I lay down on the mat and closed my eyes. I knew I was fully awake. I could feel Prakash still engrossed in his work at one corner of the room. I opened my eyes looked out of the window. It was dark outside but now the sky had lot many stars and the night was not black. Maybe it was just what I wanted the world to be like that. All the stars looked of equal size. There was no moon anywhere. I thought this looked all more normal and equitable. Some where the colors of red flashed. I don't know if it was of blood or of revolution. I knew one day we would succeed. If it was not for us, it was for all the generations that were to follow. Think of a world where all people are equal and the wealth of the earth belong to all who inhabit it. People thought it was revolution. For me it was the truth. It was the most natural thing.
some where I heard dogs bark. I thought it was just a figment of my imagination. There couldn't be dogs anywhere near by. I felt my muscles twitch and my heart beat faster. I felt tension in the air. I felt that he has stopped working. I opened my eyes and I saw his now fully open eyes. There was fear in his eyes.
The barking of the dogs began to become clear. They were dogs. I knew a search was on. Somebody has double crossed. Or maybe they just may somebody saw me. Many people cannot stand the torture. It is easier to say that you should keep your oath and words. But in pain not everyone maybe capable. I looked at Prakash. I knew that my looks could reassure him. I touched him in the shoulder. He was not trembling. I whispered to him "get out of the hut and then hide beneath the Adiyan Para (rock). When you here the blast run and hide inside the Mukkunny cave nobody will come there. I will escape somehow”. I watched him he disappeared into the darkness. He was a young boy. Lot of life was left in him. I knew that he had the conviction. He would carry forward my dream of the good world.

I sat down on the mat and closed my eyes. The barks were coming nearer. They must be about twenty minute from this place. Twenty bombes joined to my body. I felt a sense of joy rising up in my heart. Something was beckoning me. Now I could hear the sound of boots as they clambered up the rocks upsetting the stony silence of the night. Suddenly there was light all around. Search light. They had located me. The command to surrender came via the megaphone. Who cares about their commands? I slowly walked to of the hut. As I entered the blinding lights my index finger was stuck to the pin of the bomb. I would make this world brighter.

(The revolutionary didn't remain to read the news that appeared in the news papers next day. and his..................)

Karan Cyber Sehgal

On my friend Karan and his tryst with computers

When Souveer Raghav threatened to resign from the post of floor coordinator there was no doubt on our minds on who should succeed him to the post. Here are few instances where Karan exhibited his Cyber brilliance.

The Mystery of the Missing “My Computer”

One day Karan goes to Rajkumars room to type in a submission. Rajkumar had hidden all the icons on his desktop. Karan sits in front of the comp and wonders what to do, when suddenly his face lights up, he grabs a floppy and rushes to the CC.

Minutes later Rajesh finds an irritated Karan in the CC trying to copy the “My Computer” icon on to the floppy.

Aamir in Troy???????

After hours of cracking finance, Karan decides to have a break. He walks across to Renjiths comp and sits down to watch the movie PCP had saved the other day. The file name was AVSEQ02 and was saved on the F drive. Karan did not know where PCP had saved the file and being the comp illiterate he is, he did not know how to search for files. He looked in one drive after another. As fate would have it, Renjith had saved another film by the same name the day before on the D drive. Karan finds this file and opens it. Sees it for sometime and remarks
“Oye, Troy mein Aamir Khan kaise ghus gaya”

The F*** Drive

One day PCP is doing SAPM assignment in the CC. he finds Karan anxiously pacing down the aisle. This happens for some time. PCP concerned about his roomie calls Karan and asks him what happened.
With the saddest look on his face Karan replied. “I had stored some SAPM files on the F drive of the last com on third row. Now Shailee has been sitting on the comp for last half an hour and I want to finish my SAPM assignment.

Karan the hAcKeR

After this incident, Karan realized that F drive can be accessed from any computer in the Institute. And few days later Renjith returns to his room to find Karan in glee. Karan said “G Nath I accessed your F drive today”. So Renjith asked how he got the password. Karan replied “I will show it to you”. Karan opens the “My Computer” of the PC in Renjith’s room and clicks the local F partition of the hard disc.

The Lousy Mousy History

Just before coming to TAPMI, Karan gets to know that computers are an integral part of the course there. So he decides to go to NIIT for some basic course. There the instructor asked him if he knew anything about computers. Karan, being the big man he is, said that he know all parts of the comp. The instructor is relieved and proceeds to teach some elementary stuff. In between he needs the mouse and asked Karan to pass the mouse to him. Karan thought for a while and and slowly pushed the monitor to the instructors side.

The New Innovation Called Water Cooled Printers

So is any one is still in doubt on who should be next in line for FC post…….There has to be….. After these half fictitious stories on Karan, let’s go on to a 100 % real life situation. During the last “Speed” our very own PR man DIGIPOP was printing a poster in the dot

matrix printer. The printer got heated up and stopped in between. DIGI thought for a while went to the cooler fetched some ice water and poured it over the printer head to cool it down. Here is one super cool cyber guy who could give Karan tough competition.

Karan Cyber Seghal - 2 (The Lappy Toppy Karan)

Mousey Lappy

Karan ne jab laptop khareedne ke liye dukaan pahuncha to sales manmodels dikayakaran kyo kuch bhi pasand nahi aayapucho kyoonoyyye is dukan mein koi bhi laptop mein mouse nahi hain aur mere kokeyboard shortcuts pata bhi nahin.

Where do I keep IT

suna hai karan abhi laptop rakhne ke liye computer table kareed rahe hain

Neela Daanth

Jab karan laptop kahreedne gaya to sales man tooth wala model chahiye kya. Karan ne bola "meine abhi tak sone ki daanth nahi dala to mein neela daanth kyu daaloon"


ariyathe aaro ente manassinte jalakam
paathi thurannu kadannu poyi
athu vazhi vannoru kulirarnna maruthan
mruduvay thalodi maranjuvallo
pularkal manjinte nathoru thulli pol
atmavil pranyam uranjirunnu

Nanavarna imayoppi nayanagal adachu njan
nidrayilekku mayangi veenu
irularnna ratrithan ekantha yamathil
kulirinal thanu virangalichu
Njetti urarnnu njan virayarnna kaikalal
aa jalaka vathil valichadachu

pularkaala vettom kadanu varillini muryil
akatharil mottam iruttu matram
irulathu mizhi pooti urangan sramichu njan
innenodu nidra pinangiyenno
kazhiyilla urangathirthikkan enikku karanam
swapnangal matrame bakki ullu

Examination and Chaos

I learned an important lesson today. Chaos is necessary in life, at least in mine. I had never been a well organized person. But then yesterday I had planned for an examination and filed all the required materials together. I thought it would help me. But what happened today would be beyond your expectations. Anyway it was beyond mine. I went to the examination, an open book one with the wrong handout. The funny part is I never realized it until I opened it to write the answer for the third question. At that moment the entire chain of event just flashed upon me. I had taken the file out of the shelf and never read its title. Why should it have happened that way? I think the entire episode of organizing the material doomed me. Naturally I would have been searching for all the material on the morning of the examination and that would have assured that I had the right material. Sometimes you have to do things the wrong way to get it right. Isn’t it funny???

Friday, March 11, 2005

Dont know what to write

I am supposed to be creative. Somehow I am not able to write Anything here..


It is strange. I see people...if u ask me if I really do..then I dont...but then I do see she asked me if i see people...she was curious...why would she want to know if i was seeing people??

Monday, February 21, 2005


Water pour down endlessly from above. There is music to it. Then it all ends. It is moment of clarity . The time of realization.