Tuesday, April 19, 2005


It seemed as if it was the longest walk in my life. I am not saying that long walks are not common in my life. I have walked for days together. I never knew when I would be able to rest. In fact we never rested in that sense. Why is the sky so dark today? There is just one star and only the small crescent of a dull moon. It reflects the state of the world we are living in. I knew the sharpness of the stones increasing beneath my feet. It should be nearer now. I don't remember how long I had spent in this jungle. Incidentally the stones didn't pain me. Maybe it was because of habit or may be my body and mind has lost its ability to feel pain at all.

It was dark. All I could see was the thick blackness around me. I never waited for the stars to guide me. I just took the lead cutting through the darkness. We had dreams but we knew fully well that we may not remain to see what we foresee but then we fought for what be believed. A world where there is no difference between the haves and "have not"s.

There in the distance I could see the dim light coming from a hut. Oh! this is the place. My legs gained pace as I neared my destination. This was to be my hideout for the coming few days. I coughed three times and entered the hut. There he was sitting in a corner with his eyes closed and hands working fast. He didn't pay any attention to me. I knew he was expecting me. I dint expect a warmer welcome than this, I could feel the comradeship in the air and that was enough for me. He may also have felt the same way.

These were some Mao scriptures lying on the mat at one corner of the room. I put my dirty cloth bag on the small chair and sat down on the mat. I went through the leaves of truth. I never needed to read them. I knew it all by now. It was in my blood. My eyes shifted to Prakash. He was still working. How creative was he. Though he was making bombs for destruction they were so shapely and well formed. Those were the artist’s hands at work. , the hand of the one who knows only how to create. His eyes were still half closed. He must have been sitting here the whole of evening. There were more than thirty fully done country bombs lying on the floor.

I thought of getting some sleep. I must have walked over twenty five kilometers hiding away from all eyes. I took the lesser known jungle paths. I met no one except for an odd tribal on the way. Life has been like these for the past few months, ever since Thirapuzha station blast. I was wanted long back. But now the police were all the more flared up by that episode. Not that I cared about them catching me. But I had to be out of here to get more people understand the realities of the world and to take up the fight for the legitimate cause.
I lay down on the mat and closed my eyes. I knew I was fully awake. I could feel Prakash still engrossed in his work at one corner of the room. I opened my eyes looked out of the window. It was dark outside but now the sky had lot many stars and the night was not black. Maybe it was just what I wanted the world to be like that. All the stars looked of equal size. There was no moon anywhere. I thought this looked all more normal and equitable. Some where the colors of red flashed. I don't know if it was of blood or of revolution. I knew one day we would succeed. If it was not for us, it was for all the generations that were to follow. Think of a world where all people are equal and the wealth of the earth belong to all who inhabit it. People thought it was revolution. For me it was the truth. It was the most natural thing.
some where I heard dogs bark. I thought it was just a figment of my imagination. There couldn't be dogs anywhere near by. I felt my muscles twitch and my heart beat faster. I felt tension in the air. I felt that he has stopped working. I opened my eyes and I saw his now fully open eyes. There was fear in his eyes.
The barking of the dogs began to become clear. They were dogs. I knew a search was on. Somebody has double crossed. Or maybe they just may somebody saw me. Many people cannot stand the torture. It is easier to say that you should keep your oath and words. But in pain not everyone maybe capable. I looked at Prakash. I knew that my looks could reassure him. I touched him in the shoulder. He was not trembling. I whispered to him "get out of the hut and then hide beneath the Adiyan Para (rock). When you here the blast run and hide inside the Mukkunny cave nobody will come there. I will escape somehow”. I watched him he disappeared into the darkness. He was a young boy. Lot of life was left in him. I knew that he had the conviction. He would carry forward my dream of the good world.

I sat down on the mat and closed my eyes. The barks were coming nearer. They must be about twenty minute from this place. Twenty bombes joined to my body. I felt a sense of joy rising up in my heart. Something was beckoning me. Now I could hear the sound of boots as they clambered up the rocks upsetting the stony silence of the night. Suddenly there was light all around. Search light. They had located me. The command to surrender came via the megaphone. Who cares about their commands? I slowly walked to of the hut. As I entered the blinding lights my index finger was stuck to the pin of the bomb. I would make this world brighter.

(The revolutionary didn't remain to read the news that appeared in the news papers next day. and his..................)

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